Humor

NEW YORK TIMES Bestselling AuthorWhat if you could know exactly what your friends are thinking? High school student Winter Reynolds can, but there's a catch...She can only read people's thoughts when she's kissing them.When a member of the track team is murdered, Winter has an opportunity to use her special ability to find the killer. Trouble is, kissing everyone on the track team isn't such a good idea when you have a new boyfriend. Talk about complications!Should Winter persevere using her secret power to catch the murderer still in their midst, even if it means risking her relationship with her one true love?

This novelty book looks legit at first glance, but as the victim looks closer, they'll see that the entire book is made up of this repeating text: "Move out. Get a job. Go to college." This is perfect for a gag gift to anyone turning 19. The title of the book shows as "Exciting Things You Can Do, Now That You're 19". Hilarious and fun book to leave out at any social gathering! Leave a copy out at school, work, or wherever you want a laugh. Makes a great white elephant gift or funny birthday gift! Makes a great prank too! Don't forget to record their reactions! Also, the back cover of the book reads, "Throughout the years, your parents always told you to wait. The wait is over! Now that you're a mature person with plenty of wants and needs, its time to live life! You're not a child anymore and its about time that you were allowed to do things you weren't before. To help you get started, this book focuses on the wonderful things you can do now that you're really an adult!"

In elementary school, kids are taught that they should edit and revise before they hand something in. Somehow those lessons often get pushed to the side as kids grow up and enter other stages of life. The result: tweets that are filled with spelling mistakes and factual mistakes, or that make statements that, well, perhaps should not be made.This is a book for those who would like to plan out (or should plan out) their tweets before they can be seen by the masses. Consider it a journal for social media. But it's also a book to give to those people who constantly put their feet in their mouths.Whether you take the book seriously or use it as a gag gift, keep it wherever thinking takes place -- in the car, on the bedroom nightstand, in the bathroom, the list goes on and on. No one will judge you, especially when you revise.

In 2009, on a quite irrelevant balcony in Gozo, Tom and Jodie threw together a plan inspired by Mark Beaumont, Bill Beaumont and some cheap Maltese wine. It involved ditching their lives, picking up two bikes and exploring rugby in 29 countries across the world, although the plan also involved going back to the corner shop for some more Maltese wine. It is thought to be the largest and most ambitious rugby-cycling journey ever to have been planned from that particular balcony.

Before Uber and Lyft changed the face of personal transportation, there were taxis. Even in mid-sized cities, cabbies made a living getting people around town. Most of it was boring and routine. But, every once in a while, interesting things happened.These are the stories.

Dear Dumbasses: God here, or as I'd like to be referred to in this here publication, Red. In celebration of the Return of Christ we bring you a new book in the Bible, The Epiphany of Saint Eddie. Yay! This book has everything! The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, the devil, death, angels, demons, cowboys, pirates, puppet shows, ME, and of course weed! Lots and lots of weed! So, if you're of age and it's legal in your area, get some weed and get totally lit. For you folks who either can't or won't for whatever reason (health, prison, whatnot), well, you should probably read a different book. This shit just won't be funny otherwise (or make sense). This new expanded 2nd. edition includes a musical score available on SoundCloud. There's also plenty of fun to be had on our website. So, go find some weed and click thy Bics! Um...I guess that's it. Let's get this Apocalyptic party started!Sincerely Your Loving Creator, Red (aka. God)

World's Worst Songwriter: A Hilarious Collection of Crappy Song LyricsPrepare yourself for a comical journey into the chaotic and melodically disastrous world of the World's Worst Songwriter! In this side-splitting book, readers are introduced to an incredibly gifted individual who possesses an unparalleled talent for crafting the most hilariously terrible song lyrics known to humankind.Buckle up as you dive headfirst into an assortment of musical mishaps, witnessing the World's Worst Songwriter unleash a symphony of cringe-worthy rhymes, nonsensical metaphors, and mind-bogglingly bad choruses. Each page promises a fresh wave of laughter and disbelief as you discover the depths of musical ineptitude that this talented anti-lyricist can achieve.Throughout the book, you'll encounter a riotous collection of song lyrics. Some are heart-wrenching ballads and some are power songs, but all of them are horrible enough to make you see the lighter side of writing a song.Perfect for music lovers with a penchant for humor and those who can appreciate the art of failure, this book offers a fresh take on the world of songwriting. Whether you're an aspiring musician, a dedicated shower singer, or simply someone who enjoys a good laugh, World's Worst Songwriter is a delightful escape into a world where bad lyrics reign supreme.So grab your sense of humor, put on your headphones (though you might want to keep the volume low), and prepare to embark on a journey through the most cringe-worthy, yet hopefully entertaining, song lyrics ever written. World's Worst Songwriter is a must-read for anyone who enjoys the lighter side of music and isn't afraid to embrace the absurdity that sometimes accompanies creative endeavors. Get ready to cringe The author intends no offense by anything in this book. While this book does not have explicit language or other detailed explicit scenarios, it does deal with topics such as love and heartbreak, which could be difficult for young kids. Therefore, it is not recommended for a young age group.

Positive brain awesome game. Suitable for adults and children. 6 puzzles per page. 250 CalcuDoku sudoku puzzles 7x7 easy levels. 250 CalcuDoku sudoku puzzles 7x7 medium levels. 250 CalcuDoku sudoku puzzles 7x7 hard levels. 252 CalcuDoku sudoku puzzles 7x7 extreme levels. Thick paper. Glossy cover. Calcudoku may be called or searched with the following phrases or names: cendoku, calcudoku, kendoku, sudoku game, maths puzzles, kendoku puzzles, daily sudoku, mathdoku answers, calcudoku solver, mathdoku solver, sudoku puzzles, sudoku brainium, malacca, sudoku math puzzles, maze, mathdoku, mathdoku puzzles with answers, campo santo, jigsawdoku, futoshiki, inky puzzles, fantino, sparkchess, shabash, mandate, permainan sudoku, dkm shisen, sudoku sudoku, math sudoku, calcudoku answers, qonqr, beachball pop, mathdoku rules, sudoku puzzle game, itrash, calcudoku rules, calcudoku puzzles, iball touch, andoku, void runner, numby, mathdoku 7x7 answers, life sim, nextoy llc, sudoku normal, sumoku sudoku, puzzles similar to sudoku, punch clock, hitoshi puzzle, gem lites, ryukendo, tetcolor, gichtel, crazy turtle, ticbits sudoku, listen to masters, card wars, newspaper maths puzzles, polar bear escape, mnemosyne, patrick min, sample sudoku puzzles, gametimer, japanese math puzzles, sudoku with friends, hidden ships, letter ladder, week end, jigsaw master, game like sudoku with math, mathdoku 7x7, sudoku hd, su du ku, real sudoku, ghetto crew, math puzzle games like sudoku, cijferpuzzel, sudoku countdown, math games like sudoku, infinity maze, andoku 2, blocked guy, name that tune, olivia chomentowska, math puzzles like sudoku, hitoshii, japanese math games, mighty fin, gomrath, medieval escape, megamaze, tap dash, how to play mathdoku, drop match, how to solve mathdoku, catch and match, triva, memory drop, kendoku solver, mini rpg, trak 4, tomtom puzzles, bug droppings, hidden tales, k doku, how to play calcudoku, doodle hunt, kendu solver. I hope you enjoy these puzzles. Best regards, Basford Holmes

This novelty book looks legit at first glance, but as the victim looks closer, they'll see that the entire book is made up of this repeating text: "Move out. Get a job. Go to college." This is perfect for a gag gift to anyone turning 20. The title of the book shows as "Exciting Things You Can Do, Now That You're 20". Hilarious and fun book to leave out at any social gathering! Leave a copy out at school, work, or wherever you want a laugh. Makes a great white elephant gift or funny birthday gift! Makes a great prank too! Don't forget to record their reactions! Also, the back cover of the book reads, "Throughout the years, your parents always told you to wait. The wait is over! Now that you're a mature person with plenty of wants and needs, its time to live life! You're not a child anymore and its about time that you were allowed to do things you weren't before. To help you get started, this book focuses on the wonderful things you can do now that you're really an adult!"

"NOT translated into 47 languages!"-Tri-Lingual Reviewer "Reviewers scream...and then pass out!"-Unconscious Critic "If you love the English language...you should put this book down. NOW!"-Webster's Dictionary

This book is one man's quest to rid himself of all his psychological demons by exorcising them with self-deprecating humor.By day, Corey Deitz is a radio personality. By night, he's just another poor, neurotic slob curling up in a fetal position and sobbing like a little girl in the corner of a room. Deitz has issues and doesn't mind putting them on display in the hopes the reader will realize in comparison, he is not as bad off as he or she thought.This book is a landmark in understanding the human mind and the author should be commended for allowing his pathetic fears, mental ticks, and social anxieties to be put on display like a piece of salmon at Sigmund Freud's favorite delicatessen.Deitz's philosophy is clear: why pay hundreds of dollars to a shrink with a fancy business card when this book is dirt cheap. In a world full of pretentious psychiatrists and expensive couches, Shut Up: We All Have Issues is a fresh look at getting your head straight at futon prices.

Mullah Nasruddin (Nasreddin Hoca), the eight-centuries-old "wise fool" character originating from Turkey and the Levant, is the subject of thousands of funny, wise tales, jokes, and anecdotes told across the Middle and Far East and retold today around the world. Carefully chosen from beloved authentic sources, these short stories and folk tales are certain to bring readers a smile, nod, or chuckle of self-recognition on every page.More than one hundred of Mullah Nasruddin's most enduring, endearing stories, gathered here by an award-winning author, will amuse, illuminate, and captivate readers of all ages with his ageless, unique humor and universal humanity.

Phatman and Picard use their upside-down brain drawer to escape my mind and flee from an atheist Harvey; in hopes of finding Godzilla.

Author Vincent Yanez never planned on working more than a couple of jobs in his life. Unfortunately, he was born with a short attention span and an inability to stay anywhere that annoyed him. The result is iQuit: The Book of Job(s), a snarky look at one man's refusal to put up with anything he found aggravating, disgusting or downright horrifying.

Wonder Woman was the first female superhero, spirit of truth She is strong, fast, smart, beautiful, and she can fly. She is a champion of love, peace, and justice.Here are 200 steely and fun facts about Wonder Woman.

Mechanic JokesIf you're looking for funny mechanic jokes, you've certainly come to the right place as this collection of mechanic jokes will leave you exhausted with laughter.This set of jokes for mechanics in this book will get you roaring with laughter. There are short jokes, long jokes, story jokes about mechanics, puns and gags and as a bonus a chapter on funny pick-up lines for mechanics.Some of these mechanic gags are cheesy, and some of these mechanics jokes will drive you around the bend, but they will all definitely make you laugh out loud.Brand new in 2019, you are bound to enjoy this bumper collection of the very best mechanics jokes and puns. It will make a great gift for a mechanic too, that's for sure.Either for you or for a friend, this mechanics joke book will be a fun read, so buy it now!

Talk to the boss. You might be getting fired. Unpaid parking tickets. Your attention is required. Doctor says bend over and cough. Hot step mom wants to help you get off. THIS couch, for money, is where you must goes. Sometimes a fireman needs to empty his hose. In bed with one lover. the other hides away. ordered a pizza. Can't afford to pay. Picked up a hitch hiker. She can't thank you enough. You wound up in prison and it's gonna get rough. HOT step sister and friend stole your PS4. You got caught shoplifting at your favourite store. You went for a massage that came with a feel. You met with a realtor but only closed one deal. The plumber is here. Your pipes need to be cleaned. Step-sister is stuck in the washing machine.

101 Contractor Excuses

The perfect gift for anyone including yourself. A collection of images that will arouse, surprise and entertain.

Kids...they grow up so fast. This humorous and heartwarming book offers advice for your children as they leave their nest and go off to college.

Holmes presents a collection of classic sudoku to perfectly charge the mind. This is mental fitness and energy for the brain. KaKuro is a logical numerical puzzle, the mathematical equivalent of a crossword puzzle. In the cells it is necessary to place the numbers from 1 to 9, there are inactive cells (marked in black). In cells with given numerical values, the upper right value indicates the sum of the digits in the row, and the value from the lower left position is equal to the sum of the digits of the column below the cell. For example, the number 6 can be represented as a sum of 2 and 4 or 1 and 5; the same numbers (3 and 3) are not allowed.NUMBRICKS - A logical puzzle. It is a rectangular grid, in some cells of which there are numbers. It is required to fill empty cells in such a way that all numbers are connected in series, horizontally or vertically. Moving diagonally is not allowed.400 unique puzzles. + 500 sudoku and maze puzzles that can be downloaded and printed. All puzzles have only 1 proven solution. The answers are at the end of the book.This is a great book for spending free time. I hope you enjoy the book. Best regards, Basford Holmes

#1 International Best Seller in two categories. This book is funny, insightful and powerful! The upside of an upside-down upbringing, author Lonnee Rey empowers readers to move past the impact of a 'lousy mom.' It isn't a 'heavy' book. In fact, it is a quick read that can you make sense of the insanity, finally.Universal truths and witty one-liners will serve you for the rest of your life, for truly these are life lessons learned from turning lemons into lemonade.The author is all-too-familiar with the guilt, pain, and loss of self-esteem suffered in the hands of a mother who did not want to be a mother. She gets it, and then shows you how to break free of it. Lonnee is your guide, and this, your guide book to better times...no matter what your messed-up mother told you!

Dies sind Geschichten um und über einen liebenswerten Chaoten, der ständig gegen die Tücken des Alltags kämpft und diesen Kampf regelmäßig verliert. Erst hat er kein Glück, dann kommt auch noch Pech dazu. Alles was er auch anpackt, endet im Chaos. Dabei liegen Tragik und Komik dich beianander. Dennoch stellt man beim Lesen fest, dass ein bisschen Neumann in uns allen steckt. Der Autor verbindet mit eigenen Erlebnissen und Kommentaren die abgeschlossenen Geschichten zu einem unterhaltsam, komischen Ganzen. Dabei kommen aber auch berührende und nachdenkliche Momente nicht zu kurz.Dies ist ein Buch, das ein breites Grinsen hinterlässt.

You'll soon see the Funny Side of Working From Home with this crazy collection of over 200 hilarious jokes, quips, gags and one-liners about all aspect of work; whether it be dealing with the boss, mastering video meetings or working in your pyjamas. From the downright childish to the frankly rude, this side-splitting collection is sure to having to roaring with laughter... long enough to even temporarily forget about that pile of paperwork you were supposed to have finished.We all know that working from home can be a stressful, demanding, thankless, underpaid, frustrating, monotonous and demoralising task - but enough about the positives. Sometimes you deserve to just sit back, put your feet up, relax and have a jolly good laugh and giggle....pretty much like every other day.

Looking for a hilarious and fun-filled read for your kids? Look no further than our book of dad jokes! Packed with a collection of side-splitting jokes that are sure to have the whole family groaning and laughing, this book is the perfect choice for kids of all ages.

Holmes presents a collection of classic sudoku to support the mind in best shape. Medium and hard sudoku, original mental workout. KaKuro is a logical numerical puzzle, the mathematical equivalent of a crossword puzzle. In the cells it is necessary to place the numbers from 1 to 9, there are inactive cells (marked in black). In cells with given numerical values, the upper right value indicates the sum of the digits in the row, and the value from the lower left position is equal to the sum of the digits of the column below the cell. For example, the number 6 can be represented as a sum of 2 and 4 or 1 and 5; the same numbers (3 and 3) are not allowed. Sudoku puzzle killer - you need to fill in the empty cells with numbers from 1 to 9, each of the numbers should appear only once in each row and column of the 9x9 square. The sum of all numbers in the cell must match the number printed in the corner. They can be called figurative or geometric, they also have names (Sums Sudoku, Sums Number Place, Samunamupure, Kikagaku Nampure, Sumdoku). 400 unique Sudoku puzzles. + 250 sudokus difficult level that can be downloaded and printed. + 250 maze puzzles that can be downloaded and printed. Only 1 verified solution. All answers are at the end of the book. Exclusive puzzles. Good mind support in excellent form. An excellent book for free time and mind exploration. I hope you enjoy the book. Best regards, Basford Holmes

If you're looking for trucker jokes and funny truck driver jokes you've certainly come to the right place.Brand new in February 2019, these truckers jokes will have you laughing out loud. Some of the jokes are old, but some of them are new, and they will make you smile that's for sure.While we don't want to plug them too much, we hope you enjoy our bumper collection of the very best truck driver jokes and puns. Hopefully they won't drive you around the bend.This will make a great gift for a trucker too, so buy it now!

Thoughts Ideas & Other Mental Acts is a collection of essays on contemporary issues. Some of the pieces first appeared on my AMereMan blogging site in 2017. Topics range from the frivolous in Shouting, Monologuing, and Tea Bagging, to the highly provocative in The Gripes of Wrath. And from the deeply controversial in 9/11 22 Years On, to the completely mystifying in Lost to History, and Missing Persons. These and eight other pieces go to make up Thoughts Ideas & Other Mental Acts. If you find some of your own thoughts and ideas challenged, then the book is a succes

Histoires drôles et... Très drôles: une collection d'histoires drôles qui vous feront éclater de rire !Bienvenue dans l'univers hilarant d'Histoires drôles et... Très drôles !Ce livre regorge de blagues soigneusement sélectionnées pour vous faire rire aux éclats. Que vous ayez besoin d'une bonne dose d'humour pour égayer votre journée ou que vous cherchiez à partager des moments de rire avec vos amis et votre famille, ce livre est fait pour vous.Cet ouvrage est une compilation d'histoires qui vous feront mourir de rire. Plongez dans un monde rempli de blagues, de jeux de mots, d'anecdotes hilarantes et de comédie à chaque page. Des petits jeux de mots aux récits comiques, chaque histoire est conçue pour susciter des éclats de rire et mettre définitivement de bonne humeur.- Plus de 100 histoires drôles pour vous divertir.- Une variété de thèmes, des animaux farfelus aux situations loufoques de la vie quotidienne.- Parfait pour les rassemblements entre amis, les soirées en famille ou simplement pour passer un bon moment en solitaire. Histoires drôles et... Très drôles ! est votre compagnon idéal lorsque vous avez besoin d'une bonne dose de rire et de légèreté dans votre vie.Plongez-vous dans ces histoires drôles et laissez-vous emporter par les éclats de rire.Préparez-vous à partager des moments de bonheur et à propager la joie autour de vous grâce à ce livre rempli d'humour.

Das Lesen dieses Buches dauert nicht länger als 30 Minuten. In dieser Zeit erhalten Sie maximale Informationen über Körpersprache, Mimik und Gestik und lernen, nonverbale Informationen eines Gesprächspartners in jeder Situation richtig wahrzunehmen.