Carl Hiaasen can brighten even the darkest of days and Squeeze Me is pure, unadulterated Hiaasen. Irreverent, ingenious, and highly entertaining, it perfectly captures the absurdity of our times - and the White House.
From Newbery Honoree Carl Hiaasen comes this New York Times bestseller in which an eccentric eco-avenger, a stuffed rat named Chelsea, a wannabe Texas oilman, and an angry panther can't stop two kids on a mission to find their missing teacher!When Mrs Starch, the most feared biology teacher in Florida, goes missing during a school trip to the Black Vine Swamp, her class is secretly relieved.The school principal tries to cover it up as a 'family emergency', but Nick and Marta just aren't convinced. They think it's much more likely to have something to do with Smoke, the local troublemaker - whose run-ins with Mrs Starch are infamous - and decide to do some investigating of their own.But there's more going on in Black Vine Swamp than either one of them could guess. And Nick and Marta must see off an eccentric eco-avenger, a stuffed rat named Chelsea, a crooked oil prospector, a singing substitute teacher, and an angry Florida panther before they really begin to see the big picture.
A rollicking and hilarious novel from the bestselling author of Squeeze Me and 'Florida's most entertainingly indignant social critic' (New York Times Book Review)Once a hotshot investigative reporter, Jack Tagger now bangs out obituaries for a South Florida daily, 'plotting to resurrect my newspaper career by yoking my byline to some famous stiff'. Jimmy Stoma, the infamous front man of Jimmy and the Slut Puppies, dead in a fishy-smelling scuba 'accident', might be the stiff of Jack's dreams - if only he can figure out what happened.Standing in the way are his ambitious young editor, who hasn't yet fired anyone but plans to 'break her cherry' on Jack; the rock star's pop-singer widow, who's using the occasion of her husband's death to relaunch her own career; and the soulless, profit-hungry owner of the newspaper, whom Jack once publicly humiliated at a stockholders' meeting.Using clues from the dead rock singer's music, Jack sets out to discover the truth, in another raucous, brilliant novel from the master of comic crime fiction, Carl Hiaasen.
Bestselling author Carl Hiaasen serves up a humorous helping of 'taut, fast-paced action . . . crisp and hot' (The New York Times). After dispatching a pistol-packing intruder from his home with the help of a stuffed Marlin head, Mick Stranahan can't deny that someone is out to get him.His now-deceased intruder carries no ID, and as a former Florida state investigator, Stranahan knows there are plenty of potential culprits. His long list of enemies includes an off-point hitman, a personal injury lawyer of billboard fame, a notoriously irritating TV journalist, and a fumbling plastic surgeon.Now, if he wants to keep fishing into his golden years, Stranahan has no choice but to come out of retirement to close this one last case . . .
Take a trip to exotic South Florida with this dark, funny book that established Carl Hiaasen as one of the top mystery writers in the game.The first sign of trouble is a Shriner's fez washed up on a Miami beach. The next is a suitcase containing the almost-legless body of the local chamber of commerce president found floating in a canal.The locals are desperate to keep the murders under wraps and the tourist money flowing. But it will take a reporter-turned-private eye to make sense of a caper that mixes football players, politicians, and one very hungry crocodile . . . 'One of the top ten destination reads of all time' - GQ
When the precious clue-tongued mango voles at the Amazing Kingdom of Thrills on North Key Largo are stolen by heartless, ruthless thugs, Joe Winder wants to uncover why, and find the voles. Joe is lately a PR man for the Amazing Kingdom theme park, but now that the voles are gone, Winder is dragged along in their wake through a series of weird and lethal events that begin with the sleazy real-estate agent/villain Francis X. Kingsbury.
The classic thriller from the king of satirical crime fiction, international bestseller Carl Hiaasen.
The classic thriller in the Skint series from the king of satirical crime fiction, international bestseller Carl Hiaasen.
The first classic thriller in the Skint series from the king of satirical crime fiction, international bestseller Carl Hiaasen.
The classic thriller from the king of satirical crime fiction, international bestseller Carl Hiaasen.
The classic thriller in the Skint series from the king of satirical crime fiction, international bestseller Carl Hiaasen.
A wickedly funny adventure about families, nature, and figuring out what's really important, from the Newbury Honor-winning and New York Times bestselling Carl Hiaasen.
"Disney is so good at being good that it manifests an evil; so uniformly efficient and courteous, so dependably clean and conscientious, so unfailingly entertaining that it's unreal, and therefore is an agent of pure wickedness. . . . Disney isn't in the business of exploiting Nature so much as striving to improve upon it, constantly fine-tuning God's work."--from TEAM RODENTTEAM RODENTHow Disney Devours America"Revulsion is good. Revulsion is healthy. Each of us has limits, unarticulated boundaries of taste and tolerance, and sometimes we forget where they are. Peep Land is here to remind us; a fixed compass point by which we can govern our private behavior. Because being grossed out is essential to the human experience; without a perceived depravity, we'd have nothing against which to gauge the advance or decline of culture; our art, our music, our cinema, our books. Without sleaze, the yardstick shrinks at both ends. Team Rodent doesn't believe in sleaze, however, nor in old-fashioned revulsion. Square in the middle is where it wants us all to be, dependable consumers with predictable attitudes. The message, never stated but avuncularly implied, is that America's values ought to reflect those of the Walt Disney Company, and not the other way around."
*SHORLISTED FOR THE BOLLINGER EVERYMAN WODEHOUSE PRIZE 2017* A book of the month in The TimesA thriller of the week in the Mail on SundayOne of the Guardian Readers' Books of the YearKey West is a small place, but there are criminal secrets buried everywhere . . . When jumped-up reality TV star Buck Nance aggravates the crowd in a Key West bar, he incites a riot and vanishes in the melee. His hapless agent Lane Coolman should have been by Buck's side, but has been accidentally taken hostage by two petty criminals who now think they can turn a quick profit by ransoming an LA talent agent. As the search for Buck continues, the mystery draws in a broad cast of characters from across the island including Andrew Yancy, the disgraced cop who now works restaurants on roach patrol; a delusional fan of Buck's show; the local sheriff who's desperate for re-election; a shady lawyer and his gold-digging fianc e; the gay mayor and his restauranteur partner; a Mafioso hotelier; and a redheaded con artist named Merry who, using a razor blade and a high-speed car, has developed a signature way of luring in her victims.Outrageously funny, fast-paced and uniquely addictive, Razor Girl will keep you utterly gripped until the final page.Praise for Razor Girl'if you are unlucky enough not to have read Carl Hiaasen, delay no longer'Evening Standard'a joy from first page to last' Daily Mail'absorbing'The Herald'hugely entertaining'Crime Scene'razor-sharp' Irish Times
When a severed arm is discovered by a couple on honeymoon in the Florida Keys, former police detective - now reluctant restaurant inspector - Andrew Yancy senses that something doesn't add up. Determined to get his badge back, he undertakes an unofficial investigation of his own.Andrew's search for the truth takes him to the Bahamas, where a local man, with the help of a very bad monkey (who allegedly worked on the Pirates of the Caribbean movies) is doing everything in his power to prevent a developer from building a new tourist resort on the island, with deadly consequences . . .Outrageous, hilarious and addictive, this is the unique Carl Hiaasen at his absolute best. Bad Monkey will have you on the edge of your seat and laughing out loud.
This collection of more than 200 of bestselling author Hiaasen's "Miami Herald" columns. . . shows you that Hiaasen's seemingly implausible fictional premises aren't really far-fetched at all. He just knows Florida ("Playboy").
Twenty-two-year-old pop star Cherry Pye is attempting a comeback from her latest drug-fuelled disaster. Her 'stunt double' Ann travels everywhere with her, throwing paparazzi off the scent when they get too close.But one night, Ann's resemblance to Cherry Pye proves too convincing - she is kidnapped by an obsessed paparazzo who only realises his mistake once it is too late to go back...From there it's a fast, funny and furious race against time to rescue Ann from a terrible fate. An international bestseller, acclaimed as Hiaasen's most hilarious, gripping novel to date, Star Island is an addictive read.
A New York Times bestseller and laugh out loud thriller from Carl Hiaasen about a missing cousin, a half-crazy governor, giant gators and justice -- swamp justice, that is.Typical Malley - to avoid being shipped off to boarding school, she takes off with some guy she met online. Poor Richard - he knows his cousin's in trouble before she does. Wild Skink - he's a ragged, one-eyed ex-governor of Florida, and enough of a renegade to think he can track Malley down. With Richard riding shotgun, the unlikely pair scour the state, undaunted by blinding storms, crazed pigs, flying bullets and giant gators. Carl Hiaasen first introduced readers to Skink more than 25 years ago in DOUBLE WHAMMY, and he quickly became Hiaasen's most iconic and beloved character, appearing in six novels to date. Both teens and adults will be thrilled to catch sight of the elusive 'governor' as he pursues his own unique brand of swamp justice. With Skink at the wheel, the search for a missing girl is both nail-bitingly tense and laugh-out-loud funny.
Wahoo Cray has grown up with a zoo in his backyard - alligators, snakes, rats, monkeys, parrots, but it's his dad who's the unpredictable critter. When his dad takes a job with a reality TV show called 'Expedition Survival', Wahoo figures he'll have to do a bit of wrangling himself to keep his dad from killing the show's inept star Derek Badger, who insists on using real wild animals for his stunts. And Wahoo's acquired a shadow named Tuna, a girl who's sporting a shiner courtesy of her old man and needs a place to hide out. They've only been on location in the Everglades for a day before Derek gets bitten by a bat and goes missing in a storm. Search parties promptly get lost themselves. And Tuna's dad shows up with a gun...It's anyone's guess who will actually survive 'Expedition Survival!'
We also learn that Justin Timberlake has a better golf handicap (6) than Bob Dylan (17), that Eagle Trace golf course contains not one trace of an eagle, and that Mind Drive capsules are not necessarily a good idea. But through all the misery and frustration (save the odd glorious shot), golf took up residence in Carl's heart again.
Honey Santana - self-proclaimed queen of lost causes - has a Plan. She's taking part-time telephonist Boyd Shreve and his mistress to Dismal Key - one of the Everglades' Ten Thousand Islands. What Honey doesn't know is that lurking in the island's undergrowth is Sammy Tigertail, a wholly failed alligator wrestler, with death on his mind.
Joey Perrone is a woman with a mission. She's just been pushed overboard from a cruise liner by Chaz, her scumbag husband, and survived to tell the tale. But rather than reporting him to the police, she decides to stay dead and - with a little help from her friends and a few of Chaz's enemies - instead of getting mad, she's going to get even.
Noah's dad, Paine, is a kind but slightly irresponsible fisherman who is passionate about saving the local Florida aquatic life. When Paine discovers that a local businessman is running a scam from his casino boat, he takes the law into his own hands, sinks the boat and ends up in jail. Noah and his sister Abbey, take up the fight for justice.
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