Böcker av Harriet Lerner

A practical, engaging and profound guide to making amends and learning how to forgive

Bestselling author Harriet Lerner focuses on the challenge and the importance of being able to express one's "authentic voice" in intimate relationships.The key problem in relationships, particularly over time, is that people begin to lose their voice. Despite decades of assertiveness training and lots of good advice about communicating with clarity, timing, and tact, women and men find that their greatest complaints in marriage and other intimate relationships are that they are not being heard, that they cannot affect the other person, that fights go nowhere, that conflict brings only pain. Although an intimate, long-term relationship offers the greatest possibilities for knowing the other person and being known, these relationships are also fertile ground for silence and frustration when it comes to articulating a true self. And yet giving voice to this self is at the center of having both a relationship and a self. Much as she did in THE MOTHER DANCE, Lerner will approach this rich subject with tales from her personal life and clinical work, inspiring and teaching readers to speak their own truths to the most important people in their lives.

This guide outlines the steps women, as well as men, can take to strengthen good relationships and heal difficult ones. It is also available on two 90-minute audio-cassettes from HarperAudio.

In clear, lively prose, Harriet Lerner takes a bold look at women and the psychotherapists who work with them.

When The Dance of Deceptionwas published, Lerner discovered that women were not eager to identify with the subject. "Well, I don't do deception" was a common resonse.We all "do deception", often with the intention to protect ourselves and the relationships we depend on. The Dance of Deceptionunravels the ways (and whys) that women show the false and hide the real -- even to our own selves. We see how relationships are affected by lying and faking, by silence and pretending and by brave -- but misguided -- efforts to tell the truth.Truth-telling is at the heart of what is most central in women's lives. It is at the foundation of authenticity and creativity, intimacy and joy. Yet in the name of "honesty", we can bludgeon each other. We can approach a difficult issue with such a poor sense of timing and tact that we can actually shut down the lines of communication rather than widening the path of truth-telling.Sometimes Lerner's advice takes a surprising turn -- for example, when she asks us to engage in a bold act of pretending in order to discover something "more real"; or when she tells us not to parachute down on our family to bring up a "hot issue" without laying the necessary groundwork first.Whether the subject is affairs, family secrets, sexual faking or the challenge of "being oneself", Lerner helps us to discover, speak and live our own truths.

IN THE DANCE OF INTIMACY, THE BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF THE DANCE OF ANGER OUTLINES THE STEPS TO TAKE SO THAT GOOD RELATIONSHIPS CAN BE STRENGTHENED AND DIFFICULT ONES CAN BE HEALED. TAKING A CAREFUL LOOK AT THOSE RELATIONSHIPS WHERE INTIMACY IS MOST CHALLENGED--BY DISTANCE, INTENSITY, OR PAIN--SHE TEACHES US ABOUT THE SPECIFIC CHANGES WE CAN MAKE TO ACHIEVE A MORE SOLID SENSE OF SELF AND A MORE INTIMATE CONNECTEDNESS WITH OTHERS. COMBINING CLEAR ADVICE WITH VIVID CASE EXAMPLES, DR. LERNER OFFERS US THE MOST SOLID, HELPFUL BOOK ON INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS THAT BOTH WOMEN AND MEN MAY EVER ENCOUNTER. ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ '¿ ¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿ ¿¿¿¿'¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ '¿ ¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿' ¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿. ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿, ¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿¿, ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿:¿ ¿¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿. ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿, ¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ '¿¿¿'¿¿ ¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿¿, ¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿. ¿¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿. ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿ ¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿¿-¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿. ¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿¿ ¿¿¿¿.

"e;Anger is a signal and one worth listening to,"e; writes Dr. Harriet Lerner, in her renowned classic that has transformed the lives of millions of readers.While anger deserves our attention and respect, women still learn to silence our anger, to deny it entirely, or to vent it in a way that leaves us feeling helpless and powerless. In this engaging and eminently wise book, Dr. Lerner teaches women to identify the true sources of our anger and to use anger as a powerful vehicle for creating lasting change.