- The Englishman's guide to the post Brexit world, surviving the cost of living crisis, and getting out of shtuk
av Nick Yeomans
130,-
Alan Aldgate has bucked the system - he uses a Ford Capri as a daily cab. Alan has declared UDI from Brighton & Hove city council, and has his own private hire licence. Being a cabby in Brighton (and before that in London since the 1980s) means that Alan has seen it all; he takes everything in his stride. Alan gets the deal of a lifetime - tickets to Michael Bolton concert for him and his wife. The concert is in New York - characteristically, Alan laughs off warnings of the Mafia. Little does Alan know what will await him in New York. Alan's reputation precedes him. The villein of the peace, Don Tagliatelle, knows all about Alan, and his impending visit to New York. While perturbed by Alan's taste in music, the Don nevertheless thinks Alan will be useful to his grand plans in the war of the Dons. No sooner than he arrives in New York, the Mafia spot him, and a car chase ensues. Alan swerves and crashes his car into a lake, but he ejects, and lands in Central Park. His car written off, Alan fulfils the other part of his duties in New York....to deal with his late Uncle's estate. Now without a car, Alan fortuitously inherits a Bentley which, while prohibitive to use as a cabby, is a perfect vehicle for Alan to use for Deliveroo!Alan purchases his old Capri, conveniently converted into a cabriolet, due to the damage sustained during the crash. Then Don Tagliatelle spots Alan entering a taxi rank- he realises Alan is a dead ringer for himself, and his henchmen embark upon a series of plans to kidnap Alan, and disguise him as the Don, who has a court appearance the next day. While Alan is held hostage, he somehow manages to escape, and hand in several million dollars worth of cocaine to the local police. The henchmen witness Alan handing in the cocaine, and a helicopter car chase ensues. Alan swerves into the sea, and the worst is presumed, to the extent that a wake is held in his local pub, and his wife is in mourning. However, back in England (where his wife resides), a local radio group detect unusual signals, and Alan is seen emerging from the sea onto the beach. Alan is re-united with his wife, and the story ends with Alan paying tribute to his home town.