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THE END OF YOUR WORLD?These eleven tales from critically-acclaimed author Michael Warren Lucas remind us that doom is always personal. Genes gone wild, or not wild enough. Cosmic heroes demanding you show them to a bank robbery, or else. Learning after a lifetime that your love is named chocolate, and chasing it no matter the cost. Discovering that your cozy desk job might get you killed, that one of your coworkers is a murderer, or the Faerie Queen wants your pelt. Apocalypse is loathed liberation, shredded innocence, or blowing up your own life to clasp a gaunt hope of joy.Eleven different dooms await you.Some of them are delicious.

You asked.He didn't answer.The We Get Letters column of the FreeBSD Journal has been called "a tsunami of bile disguised as experience and erudition," "a torment to the eye and a stain upon the soul," and "the corroded battleship anchor that will drag an otherwise illustrious Journal to an ignominious demise." If you ask people who aren't the columnist, you'll get a less luminous view. Perhaps even negative.We sincerely apologize.This collection of the first three years illustrates how rapidly Lucas abandoned any pretense of answering questions usefully-or, indeed, paying any attention whatsoever to his correspondents. It is unacceptable. What the editors conceived of as an innocent letters column quickly transcended bitterness to become elevated, even elegant enmity. Against everyone.Apologies are insufficient.In an attempt to keep these columns from teaching other articles bad habits, we have confined them in their own private volume. The publisher expects it to be presented as evidence at his inevitable competency hearings, as well as most of the civil suits. Next week's suits, at least."While we appreciate Mr Lucas' unique contributions to the Journal, we do feel his specific talents are not being fully utilized. Please buy his books, his hours, autographed photos, whatever so that he is otherwise engaged." - John Baldwin, FreeBSD Journal Editorial Board Chair

Trapped on a reef with a walking dead man.A need that cannot be sated or survived.Nobody else hears the dead dog's murderous ghost.Whiskey means silence. So do claws.Mental scars drag the world behind them.SOME SALVATIONS COST TOO MUCH."The five stories in this collection are a real treat for fans of fantasy and horror. Join writer Michael Warren Lucas as he takes you on a trip through perilous supernatural landscapes and explores the darkness and strength of the human heart." - Lucy Snyder, multiple Stoker-award-winning author of While The Black Stars Burn and Soft Apocalypses Contains: Wednesday's Seagulls, Pax Canina, Opening the Eye, Breaking the Circle, and Sticky Notes.

Only Footnotes. Because that's why you read his books.Academics hate footnotes. Michael W Lucas loves them. What he does with them wouldn't pass academic muster, but that doesn't mean the reader should skip them. The footnotes are the best part! Why not read only the footnotes, and skip all that other junk?After literal minutes of effort, Only Footnotes collects every single footnote from all of Lucas' books to date.* Recycle those cumbersome treatises stuffed with irrelevant facts! No more flipping through pages and pages of actual technical knowledge looking for the offhand movie reference or half-formed joke. This slender, elegant volume contains everything the man ever passed off as his dubious, malformed "wisdom."Smart books have footnotes. Smarter books are only footnotes. *plus additional annotations from the author. Because sometimes even a footnote needs a footnote.

SECOND CONTACTAidan Redding''s entire goal for her time in this universe: behave. For once. Discovering seafaring aliens trashes that plan.The aliens raise questions. Her co-workers raise more.The answers explain it all. And ruin everything.On a world where gravity changes every second, Redding finds herself involuntarily allied with a mathematician from Soviet Texas as she races to save not just herself but civilization.Forget aliens. Nothing threatens Earth''s golden age so much as ordinary human beings.

The Simple Network Management Protocol, SNMP, empowers you to invoke ancient standards from the void. SNMP exposes the secrets of your network and servers, and—if you’re careless—reconfigures them into unspeakable nightmares. It exposes your inadequate brain to the vast alien dimensions underlying modern computing.SNMP is authentic dark magic.Abdul Alhazred’s infamously rumored Networknomicon, or SNMP Mastery, has long been blamed for the Spanish Inquisition, the Second World War, and Cleveland. While nuclear “testing” was thought to have eradicated all copies of the manuscript, an astute student with a baggy shirt and considerable mob debts recently liberated one tattered survivor from the Miskatonic University Library of Computer Science.Tilted Windmill Press is pleased to present this facsimile edition, freshly translated from Alien Syntax Notation.1 into English by dubiously acclaimed and unquestionably foolhardy author Michael W. Lucas.The publisher is not responsible for extradimensional incursion, overloaded monitoring systems, bouts of madness, saltwater in servers, nonexistent colors, rats in the walls of crumbling ancient data centers, triangles with too many degrees, unparseable MIB files, sojourns out of Time and Space, self-medication, self-trepanation, self-destruction, Lego-induced foot trauma, or any other harm, transformation, or impact of any sort, that might be plausibly or implausibly ascribed to this tome.

Jails are FreeBSD's most legendary feature: known to be powerful, tricky to master, and cloaked in decades of dubious lore. Deploying jails calls upon every sysadmin skill you have, and more-but unleashing lightweight virtualization is so worth it. "FreeBSD Mastery: Jails" cuts through the clutter to expose the inner mechanisms of jails.

Meet the new universe, same as the old universe—but thirteen billion years younger.Aidan Redding’s new assignment? A space station in a universe so young it’s barely invented hydrogen. Researchers study the cosmos’ earliest days, discover whole new realms of science…and go screaming insane.The mathematicians claim this universe obeys the same natural laws as Redding’s own.At the beginning of time, though, the universe writes its own rules…

There’s no grounds for murder. There’s no ground at all.The people exploring and exploiting alien universes risk everything, including their lives. But Devin Gupper’s death makes no sense. And the more questions security officer Aidan Redding asks, the less rational it seems.But in a bottomless universe full of impossibilities, one impossible murder begins everything.

Not your normal Friday night in the computer room.Not a normal night anywhere.Terry is the archetypal old-school Unix admin, nurturing servers with care and precision while avoiding the latest trendy garbage. KDE and Gnome on a server? Nope, if you need a GUI use FVWM.The latest trend Terry refuses? One adopted almost everywhere? Systemd, the replacement init.So Systemd comes for Terry.Wearing skin-tight leather pants.No, not a normal night in the computer room at all…