Bread of Shame

Bread of Shame is a revealing and startling tale of action, intimacy, and final irony. Throughout, whether man or woman, young or old, married or single, the reader will be rooting for Roger, waiting and hoping with fingers crossed.
This is a true account of one man's journey-fraught with terror and excitement, but plagued by a male curse: Even with the most voluptuous female partner he remains unarmed. Roger clings to the belief that somewhere out there is that one woman with the "right chemistry" to unlock his manhood. His desperate search to find her dictates his every decision, causing him to repeatedly choose ill-advised undertakings that bring about dire predicaments.
Roger's innocent and unsure teen years lead him to volunteer for the naval aviation cadet program, where he lacks the bold confidence being demonstrated by his fellow cadets. He rashly marries at twenty-two, only to realize that Sara is not the woman with the right chemistry. Is it now too late to find that woman who does have it?
As a Marine Corps carrier-pilot in the Mediterranean, Roger stumbles through Europe's most glamorous cities, forever changed by the continental lifestyle. He is whisked through after-hours Barcelona on the coattails of the girls of the Stafford Ballet; has lunch with an exiled king in his vacation home on the island of Rhodes; spends the night in an Istanbul jail cell with a German movie star and a Middle Eastern princess; and accompanies an international arms dealer into Bulgaria to buy guns from the KGB. All the while still tethered to the search for that one woman.
When the Vietnam War intensifies, Roger transfers to the CIA and becomes a Chief Pilot for Air America (portrayed by Robert Downey in a 1990 movie). He is now at the forefront of dangerous Southeast Asian exploits: supplying arms and evacuating wounded in Vietnam and Laos; making covert flights deep into Red China; secretly landing on dikes and tapping the phone lines outside of Hanoi; and losing an eye when shot down in the Mekong Delta.
After nine years of flying foreign aircraft in third-world countries, Roger returns to the States. With no stateside connections, he must accept the least desired and perilous jobs-piloting small puddle-jumper aircraft across the icy Atlantic. After one such crossing, he has an encounter with a UFO. On another to West Africa he has his knees weakened and his soul shaken when he finds himself alone in a Dakar, Senegal hotel room with a beautiful French Supermodel. This life-changing event will have the reader gasping at an unanticipated outcome.
Roger eventually gains a respectable flying position with a Fortune 500 corporation. Alas, after years of exemplary performance, a jealous co-worker deviously has him terminated, forcing him into another kaleidoscope of endeavors. From Bangkok to Khartoum to Barranquilla, he becomes involved in a series of dubious ventures: working undercover for (and against) the DEA; delivering planes to Angolan guerrillas; 2 a.m. flights between hidden Cuban airstrips and dikes deep in the Everglades; dropping guns and ammo to the Contras in Nicaragua; and flying for the Saudi Air Force during "Desert Storm."
You, the reader, will unavoidably find yourself a reluctant arbiter-unable not to levy judgment on Roger's decades-long pattern of questionable behavior, even perhaps morally bound to condemn him, despite his heartfelt efforts to justify his actions and bond with you.
After years of consistent failures and the always-devastating embarrassments, a new woman arrives on the scene.