The Mermaid and Bow

Padstow, home of The Mermaid and Bow Inn with Blencathra, the all-pervading landlady and her cowardly partner, Cap'n Bligh.
Macdonald Tamryn, a fatherless, soon to be eighteen-year old, dreams of becoming a successful entrepreneur. Will an Irish stranger put a spanner in the works?
Lil the Tart, Lenny, The Birdseyes, a half faced Alsatian and the remainder of the crew, a harbourside mish mash of eccentricity, all play their part in Maccy's dream.
'If One Armed Frank still possessed two arms, he wouldn't have a nick name at all, he'd just be plain old Frank the Firestarter!'
'Blencathra huddles on a salt-encrusted blanket. A seaweed covered bone wedged firmly in her slathering jaws.' The dog is sleeping beside her!'
'The bleddy dog got 'is nose caught in a speed-boat propeller, 'e was swimming too bleddy fast!'
'I promise never to eat sandwiches with meat in again, especially if the meat is still alive.'