The Twelve Dels of Christmas

The Sunday Times Bestseller
''It is at Christmas time that want is most keenly felt, and abundance rejoices.''
Charles Dickens
''Yeah, and a partridge up your pear tree, an'' all.''
Derek Trotter
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''What is it about me and Christmas?
Amazingly, there are eighteen ''Only Fools and Horses'' Christmas specials. It is at Christmas that Raquel moves in with Del, that Peckham Spring mineral water is first marketed, that the world''s least likely Batman and Robin duo emerge on a foggy street.
Think of this memoir, then, as a Christmas special in book form, from someone who has been involved in a few of those and understands a bit about the concept. But a Christmas special very much like Only Fools and Horses, in the sense that the stories will be always heading outwards, ranging far and wide and well beyond the traditional festive gags involving giblets left in turkeys.
As I sift through various festive-related episodes in my career, loosening the ribbons, parting the wrapping paper, I''ll be doing my best to reach any relevant conclusions about life, work and the meaning of it all that I can usefully pass on to you - baubles of wisdom if you like. Or certainly baubles. You''ll learn why I have the perfect face to play Scrooge. And if you''re lucky I''ll also share what it''s like to fly in the helicopter of my old mucker Tom Cruise. Merry Christmas, you plonkers.''