Unlikely Stories, 2nd Edition

¿Unlikely Stories is an anthology of horror and comedy stories - an exorcism, an alien encounter, a haunted lift, a seance, a shapeshifter, a werewolf, a talking bird, an evil twin, an alien invasion and a distressed young alpaca - all weaved into a witty love yarn. The stories are supernatural/paranormal/sci-fi fantasies with ample doses of action, horror and humour.
First edition stories
• The trip: The lead is invited by his friend to a resort where he meets the first heroine Vampira.
• The swim: The lead decides that Vampira is the soul mate he has been waiting all his life. He tells several stories to entertain his friend's kids and also impress Vampira.
• The exorcist: The second lead is an Indian crook who escapes to the West to start a new life. He attempts to go legit but finds competition from a professional medium operating under the trade name of Mademoiselle Zuma. She is dangerous because she is a mind-reader.
• Alien encounter: After the successful exorcism, this lead is asked to help a teenager who has been repeatedly 'abducted' by an alien.
• The lift: A recently deceased security guard haunts a lift where he had died and seeks revenge.
• Femme fatale: The second lead has a showdown with a female animal spirit.
• The seance: A young woman in the city is troubled by nightmares involving a hooded skeleton. A newly married nurse blanks out every night. She is also troubled by bizarre nightmares. Mademoiselle Zuma solves both cases.
• The haunting: An old mansion is haunted by a presence. Every new buyer and his family gets driven to such desperation that they eventually sell. The second lead investigates and almost gets killed.
• Family planning: The first lead and Vampira plan their life together. In the first ending, they get married. In the second ending (written by the lead after their first night), Stone Age Man (SAM) and Stone Age Woman (SAW) discover the mystery of life. (This is an over-the-top parody of the controversy about MEN WRITING WOMEN.) Other than some intimate events implied in comic fashion, there is no physical contact between the sexes in the entire book. Not even a kiss. The book is clean throughout. No swear words. No corny mushy dialogue. No degeneracy. No weirdness. Just no low-hanging fruit.
Second edition stories (Mademoiselle Zuma Chronicles)
• Shadows in the night: A young woman is troubled by a ghostly intruder at night.
• Zuma vs. Cutie: Zuma finds competition from an unlikely friend.
• The evil twin: A rich heiress is driven to desperation by a deceased twin who wants her to die as well.
• Alien chicks are nothing but trouble: A meteorite crashes down in the Atlantic. The site becomes an alien platform for launching attacks on English-speaking countries. No other countries are attacked. The world's sole super power collapses after a few days. The strangest thing about the invasion is that the aliens' primary objective is not humans but cows.
• Please do not smile at our alpaca: Zuma and her husband restart a farm devastated by the aliens. Things go well until her husband picks a fight with a South American.
NOTE: The second edition stories are mostly written from the perspective of Zuma.