A Fashionable Disaster

The rich bloodsuckers don't want to pay taxes. Too bad, so sad.
They're the least of my problems right now. At the wise suggestion of my beloved mate, I indulge in a little retail therapy so I don't dismember the pissed off crew of greedy Vamps who don't want to pay their fair share.
How could a trip to the happiest place on earth aka Target go wrong?
Let me count the ways...
Martha and Jane want to ride in the cart.
Vinnie convinces me to buy chicken potholders because everyone needs poultry inspired oven mitts.
Most horrifying? I've run into the most dastardly and most boring enemy yet, and they've turned my happy place into a nightmare.
Their diabolical powers have already put Ethan into a trance, and I'm next on their list.
I'm going to have to rely on my unconventional crew, Martha, Jane, Vinnie and some undead mimes hopped up on caffeinated blood, if I want to kick ass and end this supernatural snoozefest. Adding my untrustworthy, homicidal sister to the mix might end in catastrophe, but it's a case of the Devil made me do it.
Disaster has struck again, but I'll handle it on my terms-fashionably and with no mercy. May the best Vamp stay awake long enough to win... and let it be me.