Entertaining Mommy?

Was I chasing something! Or was I running? Never understanding the fears, voices, visions, or even my nightmares. I thought I was a sane, normal human being living a good life. Having my only worries of not achieving love, except that of my children's. The stories my siblings told as we became adults. Who were they talking about? Neglect, abuse? That was not me! No hint of what they told felt real.

I went home every time to cry, never understanding why I could not remember! Making excuses to stay away from them all as much as possible. Until my accident. My head! What is happening to me? I cannot collect my thoughts, stop the flashes. A young child abused, beaten, neglected--who could she be? I needed help! She let me listen as I woke from a lull of sleep. Horrid secrets of a childhood. "That can't be my voice! This cannot be true!" I screamed at her. "How could I forget such tragedy? What could be wrong with me?" I cried. Did she really do this all for fun? Was it all entertaining for her? What will I find out next? What else could she have done to me? To us all?