The Perils of Heavy Thinking

Meet the man Dave Barry called "My idol." No. Really!
Have you ever wondered what it was like to watch one of your children run for President?
Do you, or someone you love, suffer from an addiction to donuts?
Has an inept plumber ever escalated matters from bad to worse at your home?
Do you dream of writing the world's greatest "How to" book, but don't know where to start?
Is it possible for a common layperson (who barely made passing grades in science) to discover a previously unknown medical syndrome?
If you answered Yes, No, or Maybe to any of these questions, this is the book for you. This collection of hilarious short stories and essays will take you on a wild ride from medical mishaps, to failing fishermen, GPS goofballs, and painful politicians. Along the way you'll meet people who talk too much, think too much, and eat too many deep-fried, sugar-coated pastries. Pull up a comfortable chair and learn the secrets of mediocrity from the Master of Laziness and Procrastination. He'll teach you how not to skin a skunk, why Classic is better than old, and who to blame when items around your home come up missing. Meet Rachel Crofton, creator of the revolutionary new diet, The Food Triangle. Get in on the secrets of how to properly select and care for peeves as pets. Discover what you should expect your teenage daughter to learn in Driver's Ed, and how to cope with pressure of a mother in-law named Cruella. This book may not cure all the world's problems, but it is guaranteed to provide hours of stress-free entertainment and laugh out loud moments. Even the most irritable funny bones will be tickled with delight. Praise for The Perils of Heavy Thinking
I got your book yesterday and have been laughing and reading, reading and laughing ever since. And frankly, Russell, I'm in awe. Aside from being one of the most satisfyingly funny books I've read in just about ever, I gotta say, you're writing is tighter than Kim Novak's face. I am so happy to have a signed copy of the Special Author's Edition (and thank you so much for that!) because I predict it will be worth something someday (especially if Kim Novak gets another face lift). When I'm done enjoying it, The Perils of Heavy Thinking by Russell Gayer will take it's rightful place on the hallowed shelf I dedicate to my collection of Robert Benchley books. Okay, I'm going to get back to reading now. Linda, California Russell Gayer's The Perils of Heavy Thinking is a laugh-out-loud, honk-like-a-goose, and snort-through-your-nose kind of book. To describe Gayer as a sick puppy or certifiable is to not do him justice. This is, after all, the man Dave Barry once casually -- and incautiously -- referred to as his "idol." And that's the truth -- I was there when poor Mr. Barry, no neophyte when it comes to lunacy himself, said so. All in all, it's safe to say that The Perils of Heavy Thinking is a comic blast of a book - but be forewarned: you read it at the risk of your own sanity! J. B. Hogan, Arkansas